Jenny's Tiny Reminder
by fuckmyreputation
Summary: Jenny Humphrey is 19 and in her 2nd year of fashion education and has a one night stand that changes her life, but for better or worse?
1. It's Just a Stomach Flu Right?

**Letter From the Author:**

 **Hello to anyone who is reading this! This will be my first story on this account, and I haven't written any fanfiction in over a year. The reason behind my absence for the better portion of these last two years is two things: firstly, I got myself into a ridiculously bad situation which led to my self destruction. Second, my last account and my only major story got so much hate it's probably a world-record or something. I had people constantly insulting my plot, and telling me they wish I would die or to go kill myself. That right there is the inspiration behind my new username "fuckmyreputation". Where I got the username from, is a song by Sinners Are Winners, titled "Zero Fucks Given". The full line I was going for is "fuck my reputation, you can swallow my kids" but that's too long to be a username. Anyway, that's explained so I'm going to move on to the story now! I hope you enjoy it! Leave a review if you do or have any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism for me! -DV**

* * *

Monday, October 8, 2012

The seconds on the clock tick slowly by as I sit in my morning class, vigorously taking notes and trying to ignore the sickness in my stomach. I'm in the first term of my second year of university and I came to class despite the uneasy feeling because I don't want to miss anything. So far in my university years, I've only missed a single class and that was for a family emergency. I hope to never miss another because when you miss a class, it's easy to get behind, and putting in all the extra effort to stay on top while skipping was hard enough in high school. I've grown up a lot and I know better now.

As I sit in class, I wonder why I suddenly caught a stomach bug, but then I remember it's technically flu season. I'll go grab some medicine after class. For now I just have to survive the class without puking my guts up. Oh shit, thinking about not puking only makes it harder! I clench my jaw, press my lips together as hard as they can go and frantically fling my hand over my mouth. I feel it crawling up the back of my throat and will it with all my might to go back down. To my surprise, it actually obeys.

45 minutes later, my professor releases class for the day and I grab my bag and run out into the hall and down to the ladies' restroom. The second I'm inside the stall, before I even manage to close the door, everything, including my energy pours rapidly out of me and splashes in the toilet water. Once my stomach was empty, walked dizzily out to get a taxi to my apartment.

I get home and call to cancel my lunch study date I had planned for today with some friends from class. There is no way in hell I feel like eating or even studying right now. I go to the bathroom and take some flu medicine my Dad had sent off to university with me, then I take a hot shower in hopes of feeling better. The shower didn't do much except make me feel clean.

I twisted my hair up into a wet messy bun and threw on some clothes for work. My shift starts at noon and goes until 6. Surely the medicine will kick in by then and I'll be functional.

My shift went through without any problem, no sickness or anything. I guess the medicine did work. I ran home and took another dose before heading to my evening class, where we actually make clothes and fashion outlines.

The next day, I wake up with identical sickness as the morning before. I'm too queasy for breakfast, so I just take some medicine, have some tea and get dressed for class.

During work, I accidentally run into one of my coworkers and get a clothes hanger rammed into my right breast. Well, not _rammed_ exactly, but it felt like it and I had to go in the break room and try my best not to cry because of how insanely it hurt. If my chest is that sensitive then my period should be any day now. First the flu and now my period too? This will be absolute hell.

A few days later, after dealing with this abnormally long stomach flu, my period tracking app on my phone alerts me that my period is a week late. I immediately call my doctor and schedule an emergency appointment and then call my boss about the appointment and that I will be late today.

I go to the appointment shortly after my morning class and the nurse does the basic weighing and measuring routine before putting me in a room and sending the doctor to me.

"Good morning, Jenny. What is your emergency today?" My doctor asks me as she walks into the room and sits down in front of me.

"My period is late and it's never been late before," I blurt out quickly.

"Is that seriously your emergency?"

"Uh, yes. I don't understand why this would happen! I thought I was perfectly healthy so I don't know why this is happening!" I almost shout because I'm scared and I feel a bit ridiculed.

"Jenny, have you had unprotected sex recently?" She asks me quietly.

"No! I'm not stupid! Why would I do that?"

"Calm down, I'm not trying to upset you, I'm only trying to help you. Have you had any sex at all recently?"

"How recently?"

"When was your last period?"

"Last month, why?"

"Have you had sex since then?"

"Yes but we used protection."

"Jenny, you're far old enough to know that protection doesn't work all the time. Have you realized you could be pregnant?"

"I doubt I'm pregnant, I mean we used a condom and then I took the morning after pill."

"Neither of those methods are 100% reliable though and once in awhile they do slip up." The doctor reminded me.

"What the hell makes you think I'm pregnant?" I demanded.

"Have you felt sick lately? Have you been more tired than usual? Have you been bloated? Have your breasts been sore or swollen?"

I realize in that moment that I'd been experiencing everything she mentioned. All of them are symptoms of pregnancy.

"I can tell by the look on your face that I'm getting somewhere with this, now take this to the bathroom over there and follow the instructions. I have another patient I need to check up on, but I will be back in a few minutes." She said as she handed me a pregnancy test and left to room.

I look at the boxed test in my hand. How could I be pregnant? I'm only 19 and in university. We used not one, but two types of protection. This test better be negative. I can't be pregnant.

10 minutes went by and the doctor returns to the room.

"Did you take the test?" She asks me nicely.

"Yes."

"What did the results say?"

"I don't know"

"Why? Haven't you looked at it?"

"Nope."

"Are you scared to see what it says?"

"Pretty much."

"Jenny, you have to know if you're expecting a baby." She told me in a serious tone.

"I know." I reply as I pick the test up and look at it.

Holy shit. This can't be right. There's a little plus sign on it!

"What does this mean?" I asked nervously.

"The test is positive."

"No, no way. That can't be accurate. I can't have a baby!" I panicked.

"Do you want to do a blood test? That's more accurate."

"Yeah, I don't think this test is right. How long will a blood test take?"

"Just a few hours, then I'll call you with the results."

"Ok. I want to do a blood test." I said, and did.

Getting the blood drawn didn't hurt at all. After that, I leave and go to work.

Right before I clock out of my shift, the doctor calls me.

"Hello? What are the results?" I asked the second I accepted the call.

"Jenny, I know you don't want to hear this, but your results from earlier have been confirmed. When would be a good time for you to come in and determine your due date and other important milestones in the pregnancy?"

"Uh, when is the soonest available appointment?"

"Next Friday morning."

"I guess I'll take that."

"Ok, which time?"

"Can it be 11? I have class before then and I'm not missing it for an appointment."

"Sure, we can do that. Call me if you have any questions or concerns about the pregnancy. I know what it's like to be a young mother and feel clueless."

"Ok, thanks."

"Anytime, I'll see you on Friday."

"Yeah, ok." I ended the call.

Apparently I'm going to have a baby. I'm not married, hell, I'm not even seeing anyone! I don't even know the name of the father of the little ball of cells that currently resides in my uterus! What's my family going to think? What's this baby going to think of me if it's born? I don't even know if I want it to be born. I don't think I can let it. I'm in college still! I can't raise a baby too, can I?


	2. To Abort or Not To Abort?

**Sorry it took me so long to complete chapter 2! I meant to do it within a week after the first one but I got a new job right after the first one (literally the day after) and it's been hectic, but I finally managed to finish this! I hope it's enjoyable!**

 **Answer to the reviewer: "Is she in London or USA?" well... I'll be honest here, I never really thought about it. But I'm going to go along with the show's storyline a bit and say she's in London, and attending Central Saint Martins university as the show supposedly states. I don't remember if her university's name was mentioned in an episode or whatever, but it's on Wikipedia so I'm assuming it was... Either way, in this story, she is in London and attending that school whether the school is the one from the show or not. Thanks for asking that because otherwise I probably wouldn't have thought about it and this story would be as confusing and bad as my ones on my old account! -DV**

* * *

 **October 19...**

I sit in the room at the doctor's while I consider my options. We'd estimated that if I do decide to give birth to this baby, it will be due in June. Currently, I'm 7 weeks pregnant and the baby is about the size of a blueberry. The doctor showed me what the baby looks like in there and it was rather freaky, like a little alien or something.

She'd also explained the different types of abortions and ways to go about adoption and a bunch of facts about parenthood. I have so much information spinning around in my head now, it's going to be difficult to make a decision. Like, I don't want to have an abortion because I know I would feel guilty for the rest of my life, and I don't want to put the baby up for adoption because there are already so many kids who need to be adopted. That leaves me with raising the baby, but can I even do that? I'm a sophomore in college living on a different continent in a different country than my family! Not to mention that I work in a clothing production warehouse for a living. It's not a bad job, I'm just not sure if I could support myself, my baby, and my education with it all at the same time.

I decide to schedule an abortion consultation for the next Friday. An abortion would be the responsible thing to do, wouldn't it? I do want to have a baby or two, but I was planning on doing it when I'm married and with a good career. Not when I mess on during a one night stand in college at freaking 19!

The doctor sends me out with some pamphlets on all three of my options to look over and read through before my consultation. No matter which option I choose in the end, I'm too excited for the nausea to end. Every single day it hits me and it's terrible. I don't always puke my guts out but I often get close.

The morning sickness and sore chest have been my only real symptoms so far, aside from the missed period and positive tests.

 **October 25...**

I couldn't do it. I couldn't abort the baby. This baby is the result of my actions; my consequence. Aborting it would be running from my problem and I'm not sure I want to run from it. Plus, the baby is bigger now and I can't handle the idea of killing it. What if it looks just like me when it's born? I wouldn't know what it looks like if I abort it and I want to know.

This baby is mine and I want to know my baby. I want to be there for my baby. Even if this child was made by accident with some guy whose name I don't even know, it exists and it's going to exist for a long time. I want to give this baby the best life possible with all the love I have to give.

Sure, I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I will figure it out. I have about 32 weeks to figure out how exactly this can work. For now, I've just got to schedule my first ultrasound appointment and go from there.

It must've been my lucky day when I called to schedule because someone just cancelled so I could get in within a week!

 **October 29...**

There it is! My tiny little baby up on the screen. I'm holding back tears of amazement as the doctor points out the faint thumping of the little heartbeat.

"Can you believe that in just 7 months, that will be a tiny human ready to be held in your arms?" She asked me.

"Is it going to show the whole baby on the screen before then?"

"Yes, the baby will start resembling a newborn in just 4 weeks."

"This is all so crazy. Having a baby. I think I'm still in shock about it." I admitted.

"That's normal to be amazed and take awhile to adjust to the idea of becoming a parent, but becoming a parent can be one of the most fulfilling things in the world."

"Yeah, that's what I've heard."

"In a few weeks I would advise you to shop for some looser clothes if you want to hide your baby for awhile yet. Everyone begins showing at different times but it's often soon."

"I'm nervous to start showing."

"What makes you nervous about it?"

"Stretch marks, being clumsy, not fitting into anything."

"It'll be worth it, I promise." The doctor assured me.

"I know, it's just scary."

"That it is, definitely."

We schedule my next appointment for November 24, careful to select a Saturday to avoid conflict with the semester I'm finishing before hopefully going home. I'm hoping to find an arrangement for me to finish my classes online if possible so I can be around family with the baby.

It's so crazy to think that there's a good possibility I may have a tiny belly when I go back into the clinic.

I think about the other person who brought this baby into existence. Would he care if he knew I was carrying his child or would he brush it off and act like that night never happened?

That night was a mess. I was upset because Dan was going to come visit for a week but his flight got cancelled at last minute due to weather, so I went out and had a few drinks. I met this guy there, a total douche but I couldn't tell the difference while I was tipsy. He had black hair all spiked up, dark blue eyes and he had a nose ring with a gold hoop. Typically "bad boy" look. I got full on trashed with him and we went to his house and accidentally made a baby. I'm not sure how exactly the baby happened, but the only possibilities were that the condom broke, he used it wrong, or it fell off during everything. All I know is that there WAS a condom. That's the only part of that I even remember.

It wasn't until I saw him on the street a few days later. He stopped me and just gave me this look, I can't even describe it. It's the type of look hot girls get from sleazy pimps or something like that. That was the last time I've seen him anywhere. I never even found out his name. I think it's for the best. He doesn't seem like he'd be a good father. Even if he was, I have no way to find him.

 **A week later...**

I just downloaded a pregnancy tracking app in honor of reaching week 10. According to the app, baby is the size of a strawberry. For comparison, I went to the grocery and bought a box of strawberries. I figure this would also be a good time to find some loose clothes because I could start getting a belly any day now.

I ended up with a three pack of camisoles two sizes larger than I wear, some sweatpants, a couple tee shirts and a long sleeved shirt since it was getting cold. I also got a scarf to distract from the belly when it comes.

Now I sit at my dining table looking at different sized strawberries. Is a strawberry a really good way to explain the size of a fetus? I wonder because there are huge berries and then there are tiny little ones. Which one is supposed to be the reference here? My app says baby is about 1.2 inches, so probably a medium strawberry?


	3. Absence of the Bump

**First of all, I apologize for the chapters of my story coming along so dreadfully slow! It's summertime and things are crazy and the only part of my life that has a schedule is my job, so I don't really have a routine and I write timely updates better with a routine. Second, before any reviews tell me this, I'm already aware that this story sounds a bit like a list, as in "so i did this today, and this and this and then this happened... and then.. ect." and I also apologize for that! I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, that will change for the better when J moves back home! Thanks to anyone who's given this a read, and thank you two people who are following it! -DV**

* * *

 **November 11...**

I can't help but laugh a little when my pregnancy tracking app tells me I've reached week 11, on the 11th of November. 11 on the 11th. What a coincidence. It doesn't even feel like it's been that long since the night I got pregnant. Everything seems to be moving so fast now. I'm managing not to have any worries yet, since I know that I can take online classes here when I go back home to have the baby. My education might be a wee bit more complicated now, but it doesn't have to go on hold just because I made a mistake.

Was it _really_ a mistake though? Isn't that what a lot of college kids do? Have meaningless one night stands? It wasn't really a mistake because we used protection. We did everything right. The condom was probably a flop. We couldn't have prevented that.

I don't look pregnant yet. As far as I can tell, my shape is the same as it's been since I was 14. Baby is supposed to be the size of a lime, which I don't understand because I look the same. How is a lime sized thing in my stomach? Where does it get the space if my stomach hasn't grown even a slight amount? I _feel_ pregnant whether I look it or not. I still have my morning sickness, sore boobs and extra tiredness all day.

Luckily, classes haven't been stressing me out yet, so I hope the exams next month aren't too bad. Stressing over school wouldn't be good for the baby. Today I'm enrolling in online classes for next semester, as I plan to move back home in between semesters. My next step is to find an apartment in New York. This shouldn't be too hard considering I've been saving pieces of my paychecks every week for a house after I graduate. It may not be after graduation now, though. I need a place to live with my baby.

At least I know that if I can't find a place of my own before it's time to go home, I can stay with Dad until I find one. That was a promise he made me on the day I left for college.

 **November 13...**

I found an apartment! It's just the perfect place for me and my baby! It's on the 12th floor and the building has both stairs and an elevator. The stairs will come useful for burning off the baby weight after I give birth. The apartment has two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, a dining room and a hallway closet. There also happens to be a balcony outside the living room. The building allows indoor pets at no cost unless it's a dog over 50 pounds, then it's ten dollars a month extra, but I don't plan on having a dog unless the baby wants one when he or she is older and responsible enough to care for one.

The apartment happens to be rather near a highly rated K-8 school, so there's no questioning of 'where will I send my child to school?' in a few years.

Cost wise, the place is also great. The initial payment is 400 dollars plus the first month of rent, which is 345 and monthly water and electric bills average 190-225 dollars. So far, I've saved 1,680 dollars for a house, so taking the starting $745 to get the place is no problem, so I place the payment and email the landlord that I will be ready to pick up my keys and move in late next month, but until then I will be shipping my things there.

It's awesome to know that I will be able to provide a home for my baby when it arrives. I feel so independent and secure in my life.

 **November 18...**

Where is my belly? I've reached 12 weeks and I can't help but question why my body hasn't changed very much over the course of my pregnancy so far. Yeah, I'm only about to go into the second trimester, but the only difference in my body is that my (sore as hell!) breasts have grown a cup size. I thought I would start showing by now but I was obviously wrong with that idea.

I've been thinking of how I want to announce my pregnancy. At first I thought I would just do a homemade side-view photo with my hands on my bump that says something like "due June 2nd" in pretty font but I don't have any bump yet and I want to tell this secret soon.

Eventually I just decided to tell my family members when I go home and tell the rest of the world in a photo from the gender-reveal party I plan to have, somewhere in the upcoming months. I'm already majorly excited to learn the gender of the little life in my belly that I'm going to meet in about 6 months, though I'm waiting to think of how I'll announce if it's a girl or boy.

Another thing I decided is when I'm beginning to ship my things to my new apartment back home. December 1 seems like a good day to start moving. As terrifying as becoming a mother is, I'm very excited for it all. I would have never, ever chosen to do it this young, but it happened by chance so I might as well enjoy it!

 **5 days later... At a doctor's visit...**

"Your baby is certainly fine, Jenny. You're just not showing yet because the baby has been growing upward toward your ribs instead of outward. However, there's only so far a baby can grow in that direction, so you're almost guaranteed to start showing within two or three weeks."

So, I got my doctor to confirm that the baby is alright because the lack of showing made me nervous. I shouldn't be worrying very much about miscarrying now that I'm nearly 13 weeks, but it is still possible even though it's unlikely.

Despite my bump not existing yet, I've been wearing the looser clothes I bought a few weeks back purely for comfort. I packed up all my summer clothing since I won't be needing it here again. I also packed my dresses and most of my shoes.

 **November 27...**

Finally, at 13 weeks and two days pregnant, I notice a tiny baby bump! It's _very_ tiny and I only know it's there because I know my body. Hitting the second trimester must have been magic or something! I almost thought this day would never come.

Getting a bump made me realize that at some point, I would be able to feel the baby moving around inside of me and I'm seriously wondering what that will feel like. My app says the baby is the size of a lemon now, which makes it seem like I would already be able to feel movements, but I'm not that far yet.

The app also advises to tell your boss the news, which I probably should do, along with my plans to leave in a month to give her time to find a new employee.

We find out the content of our semester finals in a few days and I'm learning breathing exercises too avoid stressing out over them. I may not have planned on making this baby, but I do plan on growing and delivering this baby in safe, healthy condition.

Recently I've walked past stores full of baby clothing and such and walking away has been so difficult! I don't want to buy any baby stuff here because it would only be more I need to move and I don't have an unlimited amount of money for shipping rates. I don't even let myself look while I'm here because no one except a few officials at the university know I'm pregnant and I don't want the news to get out quite yet.

Another reason I avoid browsing the baby stuff here is that I have no clue if I'm having a boy or girl and I feel as if looking might sway me to hoping for a certain gender and I don't want to be disappointed when I learn my baby's gender. I still have at least a month before I'll know anything on that matter and it's already hard to be patient. I don't need any expectations on top of that.

I've also been avoiding considering names at this point too, and for the exact same reason. Some people start brainstorming names the day they learn that they're expecting, but those people are usually married, or at least not single and pregnant at only 19 years old!


	4. Not Alone on The Holiday

**Hello readers! I've returned with another chapter in less than a week after the last! I think this might just be a miracle! (I'm being sarcastic in case you didn't know). So I'll respond to the reviews quick.**

 **WckedMnd72 wrote three reviews, so I'll answer them all at once.**

 **"can you make jenny end up with nate" : I'm not giving any big clues, but I'm planning it so that Nate will be highly involved in the story soon.**

 **"Could you make her move back to the UES and make up with everyone" : I'm rather going to have the plot line a little twisted, with Jenny already having peace with everyone, and also in this story Rufus and Lilly are still together, so are Dan and Serena and Chuck and Blair.**

 **"Could you at least give jenny one friend in London she could use one" : as much as I like this idea, I really didn't think of it before I wrote the story, so technically Jenny does have friends, just none of them are going to be prominent characters in this story because I feel that I've already twisted the Gossip Girl world enough.**

 **Thank you for giving my story your attention and reviewing it!**

* * *

 **December 6...**

So far, I've shipped my clothes I'm not going to need this month, and a large box containing just about all of my house decor. Next thing to go will be my living room furniture, which is going in two days. I also just got myself a plane ticket for January 3. I know, I intended to move in December, but those flights were all filled up, therefore, I had to do the next best option.

 **The next day...**

I woke up with a burning desire for french fries, or as they call them here: "chips". I feel so weird going to a fast food joint at seven in the morning, but I'm pretty damn sure this is a pregnancy craving! If I ignore it I might have a hard time concentrating in class today, which is the last thing I need. I know that fast food isn't great for the baby, but it's ok once in awhile. I've been eating as healthy as I can the rest of the time, so I'm not worried about having a little crappy food.

Focusing in class is no issue, thanks to the nearness of the fast food place. French fries for breakfast is still so strange to me!

My pregnancy app advises that you sign up for a childbirth class now, but I can't really do that, can I? I mean, I'm moving in less than a month and no one knows I'm even pregnant? Despite being nearly 15 weeks along, my belly is very easy to hide. It's grown in the past week, but it can still be hidden in loose clothing. I wonder how long this will last. If it keeps growing at this rate, I'd say in about two weeks it will become noticeable to others.

 **December 11...**

It seems that my nausea has faded away, and I hope it stays gone. Those months dealing with it were in no way pleasant and it's a great relief.

Today at work, I put in my two week notice. I can't believe I'm going home. I thought I would at least live here until I finished college, but I guess life happens and you can't avoid it.

I took a peek at what I could find for childbirth classes in New York, preferably near my city, and decided to just wait until I'm home to go looking in that department. The baby still has about 6 months left, so I don't really see the need to rush, just because my app suggested it this early.

Thinking of the almost 6 months I have left of this baby growing in my body makes me wonder exactly how big my belly will get. Right now. it looks like I'll have a small belly, but that can change at any given time. Part of me hopes to have a little bump, because then I won't have too many stretch marks or need to buy huge clothes to fit it, but if my bump is big then I don't mind as long as baby's healthy.

 **December 16...**

My last appointment here in London went well. I got an ultrasound photo to show my family when I tell them the news. I could have found out my baby's gender today, at 16 weeks, but I chose to wait until I go home to find out. I also didn't feel like it would be accurate enough right now. I don't know why, but I just felt like it could be wrong if I learned today. It's funny, first I reached 11 weeks on November 11, and now I'm reaching 16 weeks on December 16.

My semester exams start this week, and then I'm free until my next semester starts in January! I'm keeping my stress levels down by studying pretty much constantly. I want to do good in this, not just for myself anymore but also for my child. Raising a child is _very_ expensive, so I have to do good in my education and get a well paying career as soon as possible. I guess, technically I would be fine if I couldn't do that, because I know my dad and Lilly would help me out, but I don't want to depend on them. This is my life, and my baby, which makes it my responsibility.

My pregnancy app is saying strange things this week, like my "sex drive might be up" but it's not. I feel like that part of it is directed at the married people having babies. I understand that some single pregnant women like myself might be experiencing this, but I'm not. If anything, sex is the _last_ thing on my mind right now. Maybe if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I would've still gone out and met someone to be having sex with right now, though I'll never know. No one would want to date a girl who's pregnant with another guy's baby. Actually, I take that back. Most of the guys who date pregnant women are creeps who only do it for the sex and I don't need that.

The app also advised a dental checkup, which I plan to schedule as soon as I'm in my new apartment. I had to go bra shopping today, even though I don't want much to move. I couldn't put it off any longer; my breasts were literally popping out the top of my old ones. It feels odd to be four cup sizes and one band size larger than I was before I got pregnant.

 **December 24...**

Video chatting family was easy to hide my belly for because the camera only shows face and shoulders. My belly grew quite a bit this week. It grew more this week than in any week before. It's noticeable now. Luckily I finished my exams, so no one will be questioning me. I truly look pregnant now.

The app says I should be feeling the baby kicking soon, but if it's a woman's first baby, she's likely to feel it later, so I'm not getting my hopes up yet.

It's such a unique feeling to just touch my belly now that it's obviously holding a baby. I look forward to the day I get to hold my baby in my arms instead of in my belly.

Spending Christmas alone for the second year in a row isn't as depressing as people assume. Last year, I just cooked for myself and watched old Christmas movies then took a hot bubble bath with a holiday bath set I bought myself. This year, I'm not really alone because I'm with my unborn baby, who is supposed to be able to hear my voice now, so I can talk to my baby. I'll sing some Christmas songs to my baby and I'll cook something again. Being alone on the holidays can be lovely too.

 **Christmas Day...**

I decided to "bond" with my baby by taking a family Christmas photo! I got a red, sparkly (stretchy!) dress with a green dress jacket for the photo, and posed with my hands on my belly and a smile on my face. I then uploaded it to my laptop to decorate it with Christmas themed decals and printed it. It may be homemade and it may be a little silly, but it will be a memory to look back on fondly in 10 or 20 years!

I sang my favorite Christmas songs to the baby while I cooked for myself, then took a warm bath instead of hot because my body temperature isn't safe to rise that much while baby is inside.

 **January 3...**

After Christmas, I packed and shipped the last things that wouldn't go in my suitcase on the plane. I feel like I've gained a lot of weight since Christmas from being practically starving all the time. My bump keeps on growing and now there's pretty much no way to hide anything.

I felt the first kicks on New Year's Eve, which will be a cool story to tell my baby when he or she grows up enough to wonder these things. The kicks felt like little bubbles, almost. People say it feels a bit like gas at first, which I definitely agree with. It feels like a pretty version of gas.

Today is the day I'm flying home. Everything is packed except the outfit I'm wearing, which consists of grey sweatpants I bought a few sizes larger, a white camisole and my winter coat with simple flat boots. Even my coat doesn't disguise my belly anymore, though it does make it a bit less noticeable.

The excitement to be home bubbles up inside me and I can't help but let out a small squeal of joy when the loudspeaker on the plane says "We will be landing in New York in 10 minutes". I can't wait to be in the house I'll be living in with my baby!


	5. The Announcement Of A New Life

During my flight home, I read a book about baby care. I decide that I will breastfeed the baby if I can because it's better than formula and much cheaper in the long run. I also researched the differences and learned that baby formula often ranges from 18 to 35 dollars each container, which I don't even know how long one would last, while a double breast pump would be just under (or maybe over, depending on the brand) 100 dollars and most likely last to feed another child if I have another later on. Financial bonuses aside, the benefits of breast milk for the baby would be more than enough reason to breastfeed.

The flight landed at 5:49 PM and it was snowing lightly outside. As I walk into the airport after stepping off the plane, I feel more baby kicks and I receive a few odd looks when I laugh looking down at my belly. I wonder if my baby is as nervous as I am to tell my family the news.

I stop at a nearby diner for some food, then get a cab to my new apartment. The steps on the way up are a nice workout after sitting on a plane for some hours.

The first thing I do when I've reached my apartment is change into a comfy pajama set and sit down to order a breast pump and other feeding supplies (bottles, bottle nipples, freezer-safe milk storage containers, a nursing pillow, a bottle warmer, ect.). I figured it was best to do this immediately after my intensive research session so I could remember the highest rated brands.

Tomorrow is the day my family is going to learn that this family is growing. Honestly, I'm nervous because I don't have the slightest damn clue of how they might react.

I spend the rest of the evening browsing baby furniture, but refrain from buying anything else for now. I do however, make a wishlist of stuff for the nursery.

Before I sleep, I put my bed together and put sheets on it. I would've just slept on my sofa, but I don't think my pregnant body would be very happy there. As I lay in my bed, staring at the grey ceiling, I think about how great it felt to buy my first things for my baby. My little baby will be using that stuff in six short months, possibly a bit sooner.

 **The next morning...**

I wake up pretty early and unpack some. I take my first shower at my new place and get ready to go to Dad's. I know everyone will be there today because they told me about it during the video chat on New Year's Eve, but they haven't the slightest knowledge that I'll be joining them.

While on the way there in a cab, I have a small epiphany; I'm _not_ going to be a teenage mother! I'll be 20 in April and the baby's not due until June. I can totally use this information when I tell everyone I'm having a baby to take some of the stress out of the situation!

The block is tremendously congested with traffic and people today, so the cab stops a few blocks away to let me out safely. I keep my sunglasses on but unbutton my coat to show my belly, since _some_ people respect pregnant women and I might get through the crowd easier.

I walk a block and a half when someone bumps into me.

"I'm so sorry! Are you ok-"

"Nate!" I quickly cover my belly as if he hadn't already seen it.

"Jenny! Why are you here and not in London?" he asks, perplexed.

"Um..." I stumble over words as his eyes wander down to my hands on my bump.

"Oh, that's probably why, isn't it? Now I feel like a dick for asking."

"No, it's fine, but yeah I am home because I'm having a baby."

"Is the baby's father here with you?" Nate asks curiously.

"No, I have no idea where he is."

"Wait, you're not dating?"

"Nope."

"Is he going to help you raise the baby?"

"No..."

"What the hell? Why did he do this to you then?"

"Calm down! Dammit Nate, this is nothing new to the world. One night, too many drinks and a defective condom did this. Not him."

"Sorry, I just hate it when women get pregnant and end up being single mothers from day one."

"Why do you care about what happens to me after I tried stealing you from Serena?"

"Well, Jenny. Serena and I broke things off and she went back to your brother. He's planning on proposing to her soon, or at least that's what Chuck says, who got it from Blair, who got it from Lily. Since Serena was gone, I got a little excited when I saw you're here. I care about you."

"Still? After all this time?"

"Yes, even after all this time."

"I care about you too, I just wasn't going to admit that because now that I'm pregnant, a lot of the possibilities in my life are gone."

"Would you be looking to date before the baby comes?"

"Nate, come on. Let's be real here. No one would want a pregnant girl for anything other than sex."

"Well I guess I need a name tag that says my name is no one. Would you like to help me look for one tomorrow night at seven?" he asked and gave his golden-boy smile.

"I have to admit, that was smooth." I laughed. "Why the hell not?"

"It's a date?"

"It's a date. Now I really have to get to my Dad's to tell everyone else about this baby."

"Don't let me keep you, but just wear something warm tomorrow and I'll pick you up. Text me your address?"

"That I can do! See you tomorrow!"

"Yes you will. Bye, Jenny. Good luck!"

"Thanks!" I said as I walked on down the blocks.

When I reach the building, I close my coat again and go inside.

I feel the baby squirming as I get into the elevator.

"Yes, sweetheart, I know you're nervous. Mommy's nervous too but it's all going to be ok. Even if they're upset about me having you right now, I know they'll love you when you meet the world." I talk to my belly, though I'm not sure if the pep talk was more for the baby or myself.

The elevator goes up and up and seems to take a century.

At last, I arrive and as I walk into the apartment, everyone smiles and starts hurrying to hug me.

"I'm so glad to see you, Jenny, but why the sudden visit?" Dad questioned once everyone laid off on the hugs.

"To start with, it's not a visit. I'm moving back. I got myself an apartment in NYC."

"What about your education?"

"I'll be doing online classes from here on out. But I have a reason behind this and when I say it, I need everyone to be quiet and let me explain."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm more than alright, though you may not immediately see why I'm happy about the situation I'm in."

"Stop dragging it out and just tell us!" Serena excitedly exclaimed.

"Why are you so excited?" Dan asked her quietly.

"She says she's happy about something." Serena answered him.

"I am happy about something, but I'm not so sure everyone here will be." After an awkward silence commences, I blurt it out. "I'm 18 weeks pregnant!"

My announcement is followed by another awkward silence.

"It's due in early June." I said quietly and took my coat off.

"It?" Lily questions after looking at my bump.

"I haven't found out what I'm having yet. I wanted to find out here, in New York."

"I'm going to be a grandfather?" Dad sounds very shocked.

"Yeah."

"I'm going to be an uncle! Hell yeah!" Dan cheers and hugs me again.

"You're keeping the baby?" Lily asks.

"That's my intention. Why is no one mad? I thought someone would be mad because I'm only 19..."

"I'm not mad because I have no reason to be. You're braver than I was at 19." Lily told me.

"And I'm not mad because you're an adult. You're not having a baby in high school or anything. I'm just shocked because I thought Dan would become a parent first, seeing how he's older and has been in a relationship for some time." Dad said. "Wait, Jenny? Where's your boyfriend?"

"I don't have one..."

"How did this baby happen?"

"I think we all know the answer to that." Dan answers for me.

"Is this man even going to be involved in your child's life?" Dad asks.

"No. I don't want him anywhere near my baby."

"It's his baby too, you know."

"Only genetically. He's a piece of shit, Dad. The baby will be better off with no father than with him as a father."

"I'll take your word for it, though I believe every child deserves a father figure. For now, we need to get you an appointment to find out if that baby's a little lady or a little mister!" He says as he pats my belly.

"I'm going to get an appointment scheduled this afternoon. I'm really excited to know so I can start shopping."

"Are you going to have a gender reveal party?" Serena asks me.

"I was hoping to, yeah."

"I could help you with that!"

"I like that idea. It can be practice for when we have babies." Dan says to her and kisses her cheek.

"Yes, or I could just do it because Jenny is family and she doesn't have a husband to help her like I will when it's my turn."

"If you want to help me, I would really appreciate it but please don't feel obligated to just because I'm a single mother."

 **That evening...**

So, my family took the news surprisingly well. Lily even gave me a list of good doctors for pregnancy and babies here.

I got an appointment for an ultrasound on January 10. I put in a few job applications at fashion places nearby in hopes that somewhere would hire a college student halfway through her pregnancy.

I spent the rest of my evening unpacking and trying to organize my apartment. Seeing this apartment in person has shown me that it is definitely perfect to have my baby in when he or she comes.


	6. Snow Falling and Slow Dancing

**I'm so sorry this chapter took so long! I moved last month and just recently got my internet hooked up, plus I went back to school last month also and that's been very time consuming. But here it is! I hope you guys like it!**

* * *

 **The next day... (January 5)**

I woke up a bit late today and I swear on my soul, my belly grew _overnight_. I changed into the shirt I wore yesterday and it was tighter. I proved my thoughts and went to take a shower.

So, I have a date tonight and I have no idea what we're actually doing. He said to dress warm, so I choose my grey sweater dress with black winter tights. Pretty basic outfit, but I don't have much that fits my pregnant belly because I didn't want to pack more than absolutely necessary.

I decided to shop for maternity clothes now that I'm all moved. I get a few outfits with loose tops and only a few because I know these will only fit for a month or two at most and I don't know when I'll find a job to support myself. After clothes shopping, I get some groceries for my new apartment and get internet set up since my classes online start in four days.

After spending most of my day being productive, I get ready to go out with Nate.

Right before I head outside to wait for him, I notice that the dress I chose shows a bit of cleavage. Hell, it's more than a bit, but I don't look like a slut so I decide to leave it. I just hope he doesn't get the wrong idea from it.

My back aches all morning and into the afternoon. This growing belly must be too much for it! I observe my body searching for stretch marks and do not find any at this point. I rest my hands on my belly when baby kicks; I can only slightly feel it on my hands, but that's good enough for me. I consider calling the doctor again today to schedule my anatomy scan, since it's supposed to be done in the middle of a pregnancy and I'm nearly halfway through mine.

After a long debate with myself, I call back and schedule the anatomy scan for the 19th of this month since that's the last day of my 20th week of pregnancy. I keep my normal ultrasound on the 10th because I'm dying to know my baby's gender. I also keep it because since I'm new at this clinic, the first ultrasound is half off price so I'll only have to pay $25 instead of $50.

I get ready to go out with Nate around five, and was waiting outside at ten till seven. He arrived in a limo three minutes later. He gets out, hands me a single white rose wrapped in glittery silver ribbon, gently kisses my hand, and opens the door for me.

"Are you going to tell me what we're doing yet?" I asked him playfully as the limo began to glide down the block.

"Why would I do that? That would ruin the fun!"

"I just want to know! Did I dress alright?"

"You dressed perfectly. You look so beautiful."

"I'm not _that_ beautiful."

"Yes you are, Jenny. Don't act like you're not, please?"

"Fine, I won't. You look really great too." I admit, looking away and smiling.

Nate grabs my hand and looks into my eyes. Damn, he has magnificent eyes.

"I hope you're hungry..." He says mischievously as the limo slowed to a stop. I look out the window. It's some fancy named, hard to pronounce Italian restaurant.

"If we're going to dinner, why did you tell me to dress warm?" I questioned, perplexed.

"Dinner isn't our only stop tonight, doll." Nate responds and opens the door for us to get out of the limo.

 **40 minutes later...**

"So, what did you think of the food?" Nate asks me curiously while we climb back into the limo.

"It really hit the spot. I think I was craving Italian food even though I didn't realize it."

"Has that happened to you before?"

"You mean like-"

"Since you've been pregnant?"

"Yeah, it's happened a few times. Pregnancy is so strange."

"I don't know much about it. I just remember a little bit I heard in health class."

"I apparently don't know much about it either, which is rather scary when it's time to experience it."

"If you could go back in time and not be experiencing it right now, would you?"

"Well-"

"I'm sorry if that was too personal, I just-"

"No, no, it's fine. I have thought about it from time to time. If you'd asked in the earlier weeks of my pregnancy, I probably would've said yes, I would go back in time if I could and not have this baby, but now that I've been pregnant for this long, and have felt his movements, I would say no. I love this baby, even though I haven't met it yet."

"Wait a second, you said 'his'. Is it a boy?"

"Did I say that? I didn't mean to. I have no idea if it's a boy or girl."

"Are you hoping for one or the other?"

"No, I just want a healthy baby. Nothing else about it really matters that much."

"That's a good view to have on it."

"I know, this way I won't be disappointed."

"Oh look, we've met our next stop!" Nate exclaimed.

"Central Park?"

"Evening walks in light snow are romantic."

"It's snowing?"

It was indeed snowing; beautiful little snowflakes fell down on the brightly lit, New York streets.

Nate gently took my hand in his and we walked down the sidewalks, awing at things in store windows and trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues.

We stopped at a coffee shop for hot chocolate, and Nate insisted we have some type of dessert, so we both got a couple cookies.

After our cookies, we walked down to an old record store and looked through the music in the sale bins. Somehow, we ended up dancing in the middle of the shop to some slow music the shop owner put on. Classic slow dancing in a record shop while it snows outside, Nate seems to know a lot about romance.

"Why did you plan all of this tonight?" I asked as we swayed in varying directions.

"Because you're a very special girl, and I didn't know any better ways to make you feel that way."

"Really?"

"And because I developed feelings for you a few years ago but only realized it when I saw you last night."

As if playing along with the tempo of the music, Nate slowly moved his face closer to mine. I slid my hands from his shoulders to the edges of his sharply defined jawline, and as the classical music piece grew louder and faster, our lips met, and locked as we held each other for what seemed like eternity in our electrifying embrace.


	7. Baby He or Baby She?

**Wow... It's been FOREVER and for that I sincerely apologize. I'd been busy for so long but now I'm rewatching Gossip Girl with my boyfriend and have been reinspired. A big reveal is thrown in this chapter, as if the title wasn't a dead giveaway! Anyway, enjoy! Leave a review!**

 **~ DV**

* * *

 **The next afternoon...**

Last night was amazing. Extremely strange, since I'm four months pregnant with some other guy's offspring, but Nate doesn't seem to care. I can't help but worry though, because he might not realize how he truly feels about it yet. What if we keep going out and actually decide to have an exclusive relationship? If that went well, it would lead to marriage, making him my baby's step father and only father figure at all. I don't know why he would want that, but I try to keep it off my mind. We only went on a single date. Nothing is even close to official yet. Except that we're going out again this Wednesday for lunch.

I have no idea what I'll do to occupy my time until I can find a job. My classes don't start until Wednesday. I could shop for some gender-neutral baby essentials? And groceries. I need groceries sooner than I need baby things.

I throw on one of my newly purchased maternity outfits: stretchy jeans, a white and lilac silk tunic and a simple maternity bra I'd bought to be more comfortable than my regular sports bras. None of my pre-pregnancy bras fit now. I'd been a 30B before, and now I'm a 34C. My doctor back in London said to be prepared to go up a few more sizes before I'm the only person in my body again.

I go out to the closest grocery store and buy all healthy food. I got some salad, apples,strawberries, blueberries, green grapes, flavored oatmeal, stir-fry packs, whole carrots, celery, tomatoes, white rice, potatoes, sugar-free almond milk, whole wheat bread, low-fat vanilla yogurt, and a container of maternity vitamins. I'm not out of vitamins but I only have about a week and a half left at my place. I normally don't eat only healthy food, but I'm eating the cleanest I can for the baby. I only allow myself junk food or sugary stuff when I have killer cravings, which is only about once a week.

I decide to go baby shopping after I learn the sex of my baby later this week. Grocery shopping was tiring enough for one day.

 **Wednesday, January 9th...**

Online classes are weird after taking all classroom presence before. Had I not become pregnant, I would be in London, taking first hand classes, but that's not how my life turned out. I don't regret getting pregnant. If I regretted it, I would've gotten an abortion. Something in me wouldn't let me do that, because I was bonded to my baby from the moment I found out it existed.

Tomorrow I get to learn if my baby is a boy or a girl. That means I get to start thinking of possible names. I get to start shopping for baby things. I'm so ready. I've spent the last 3 months wondering who this baby is going to be. I won't know the full answer for years to come, but I can get a slight idea tomorrow.

Lunch with Nate goes well. We talk about my ultrasound tomorrow and he offers to come along, however I turn down his kind offer because we're not even exclusive and seeing how it's not his child, it's not his responsibility to be there and I need to go alone.

He tells me how he's always imagined HIS son someday being named Grayson Wesley Archibald. Honestly, I never knew he wanted to have kids, but I believe he'll be an excellent father when he does. I asked him about his thoughts for names if he ever has a girl, and he hadn't really thought of anything yet.

So far, Nate treats me completely normally. He doesn't act different than he did before just because I happen to be pregnant now. We obviously talk about my pregnancy, but he's completely calm and understanding about it and just somehow manages to make it seem like it's not strange.

The truth is, it is strange for an "Upper East Sider" to be pregnant this young, and before getting married. Technically, I don't consider myself and Upper East Sider, even though it's what my family has become over the last five years of my life. I'm 19 years old. I'm practically single. And I'm having a fucking baby. A baby I made with a man whose name I do not know and who I've never actually had a conversation with.

Even though my baby's creation was rather pathetically set up, his or her life is going to be better. I will do everything in my power to make sure of that. I already love this little human more than I ever knew was possible.

 **The Next Day...**

Today is the day. Today is the day I'm discovering if I'm having a little princess or prince. Yes, I just thought of it that way. Even I know I think shit like that is corny, but truth be told, it's hard NOT to be corny when you're this excited about your child.

After fixing myself some breakfast, I shower and put on one of my new outfits: a dark purple, metallic shirt and a stretchy grey mid-thigh skirt with black tights and grey flats with a shiny bow on each top. I decide to take a belly selfie in my mirror in appreciation for my fashionable outfit, and since I have yet to take one in nearly two weeks and my bump has definitely increased in volume in those 11 days since my last one.

I spend some time, probably near 25 minutes looking at all of my bump pictures so far, comparing the growth differences and imagining what the baby will look like.

When I get to my appointment in the early afternoon, I'm dying of excitement and nervousness.

The doctor asks me a million questions, measures my bump, and I learn that I've gained nine pounds since before I was pregnant.

I learn something I wasn't expecting at all. The doctor believes my due date is off a bit because my baby's development seems more advanced than we thought. We thought I was 19 weeks but the baby appears to be developed to 21 weeks. I guess I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy and I didn't even know it until just now. The baby is estimated to be about 10 and a half inches long at this point, but still weighing less than a pound and most of my weight gain was the placenta and amniotic fluid.

Finally, after what seems like a billion year waiting period, I get the answer I've been eagerly awaiting since the first day I knew I was pregnant.

At last, I get a clue at who my baby is going to be.

Just because I didn't want Nate coming to the appointment with me didn't mean I didn't want to see him today. I agreed to let him pick me up from my appointment, and as soon as it's over, I rush out as soon as I can being 21 weeks pregnant.

"So? What type of name are you going to be looking for, mama?" Nate asks playfully as a bounce up to him in the waiting room.

I hold up my ultrasound photo image proudly.

"She's a girl!" I whisper excitedly into his ear before he pulls me into a hug and a kiss.


	8. 21 Weeks Down, 19 To Go!

**2 weeks later... January 24...**

"Are you sure you don't want to go to a bakery in Manhattan for your gender reveal cake?" Serena asks me as we prepare to walk into a bakery in Brooklyn.

"Yes, Serena. I don't think I need a super fancy cake to tell everyone what my baby is."

"Ok, then can I convince you to go to one for your baby shower cake in a few months?" she asks with a mischievous smirk.

"I guess, if you insist!"

"I just think you would find a really great cake design at my favorite bakery. They have practically hundreds of customisable options for _every_ occasion; baby showers, birthdays, weddings, retirement, anniversary, congrats, you name it!"

We spend a few morning hours looking at cakes suited for gender reveals and I finally settle on a pink and blue striped, square cake lined at the edges in white candy pearls, with a pink bow beside a green necktie decoration in the very middle. I give the baker the note of which color to put on the inside, to keep the surprise from Serena.

Nate is the only person who will find out before the party, other than myself. Serena and I have scheduled my gender reveal party for February 16, 2:00 to 5:00 pm, at a lovely cafe in NYC that she insisted on reserving for the party.

At this rate, the party will be when I'm 25 weeks along. We'd originally only thought I would be 23 weeks, but baby's development decided otherwise.

I feel as though I'm a bit late on my reveal party, since most women seem to throw this party around 20 weeks. However, in my defense, I not only learned the sex of my baby later than most women, but my due date was initially calculated incorrectly.

Aside from the upcoming party, I have to leave the bakery and go straight to my first day at my new job. After a couple weeks of digging around, I finally landed a job working in Bergdorf's as an assistant manager. Since I was a year and a half through fashion education and have had previous experience, they assumed I could learn how to assistant manage a clothing store pretty quickly.

I gave my best attempt at a professional outfit, wearing a plain black, high neckline, knee-length maternity dress with plain black velvet flats in a size larger than I usually wear due to pregnancy swelling. To add to my professionalism, my waist length hair is half back, half down and perfectly straight. I have accessorized with a silver statement necklace and decent size diamond earrings (a gift from Lily for my 18th birthday).

My first day is just getting to know my new workplace and new job duties. I work from 1 to 7, then go over to Nate's and order some takeout to celebrate my new job.

The next day is a Friday, and I work my first real and true work day, from 9 to 6. The following day, I work 9 to 1 since it is Saturday.

I got paid for those first few days that afternoon, and invite Nate and Dan to come shopping with me. I get a baby crib, and their assistance carrying it inside turned out very useful.

The crib is white, wooden and rectangular all around. I also got a mattress to go in it. We decide to set it up in a few weeks or so.

In addition to the crib and mattress, I also purchase a unisex sleep suit, some baby safe laundry soap, a pack of camisoles for myself and my growing belly, and more maternity vitamins. I decide to shop for groceries by myself the following day.

After grocery shopping, I stop in to see Dad and Lily.

"These gender reveal party invitations are absolutely adorable!" Lily gushes enthusiastically when we three sit down on the sofa.

I take a sip of the tea she poured for me a few minutes ago.

"So, Jen, I found something you might find some appreciation in now that you're going to become a parent yourself." Dad says, setting a box down on the floor in front of us.

"What's that?" I question as he opens the box with an eye of mystery.

He pulls out a little pink and white polka dotted onesie and grey pants.

"Is that my-"

"-outfit you came home from the hospital wearing? Yes." He interrupts me with a massive smile. "And this is your receiving blanket and the first bottle you ever used."

"Why did you and mom save these things?"

"They're keepsakes with very special memories attached to them. I think you should have a box like this of your child's first things too."

"It's like a three dimensional scrapbook." Lily adds. "Have you been thinking about a name yet?"

"Well, I've been imagining some. I haven't really given any serious thought to it yet though."

"That's good. I had Serena's name decided at 33 weeks, but Eric's name not until I held him for the first time."

"I plan to have it narrowed down to a couple of names so that when I see my baby, I can decide which name is more fitting."

"I believe that's a good plan you have there," Dad tells me, "I'll be honest, your mother is the one who ended up naming both you and Dan. Not because I didn't want to, just because I've never been good at names. Also because I felt that she deserved to if she wanted, since she was the one who grew you guys in her body and went through the process of birthing you with no epidural."

"I know, Mom told me once."

"Have you thought about whether or not you'll be getting the epidural?" He asked in a curious but casual tone.

"I've thought about it, but I'm not swayed toward or away from it yet. I think I'll wait a bit more before choosing which route I want to go when it comes to my birth plan. I want to learn all I can about every option before I make anything for certain."

So far, I'd read about natural labor in both a hospital or a birthing center, epidural labor, water birth, home birth and gentle cesarean. I'd stretched the truth a little when I said I wasn't swayed at all; the truth is, I'm currently considering a water birth, though I'm not sure and want to continue learning about it and the other options first.

Later that night, I stood in front of my mirror in just a bra and pajama pants, looking at my belly. 19 weeks left to go before I meet the baby and learn to be a mother. 19 weeks until I get to try my luck and nourishing my baby through breastfeeding. 19 weeks until I start changing diapers and (hopefully) nursing every two or three hours. 19 weeks until my belly just makes me look fat. 19 weeks until I get to deal with likely a month of postpartum bleeding. 19 weeks until another person's life is my responsibility. Indeed, it's scary, but it's even more exciting.

The next day is Sunday, and Nate invites me to watch an opera he got dragged into attending with his family. The opera was boring, but that he wanted me to attend it with him despite my obvious pregnancy made me feel a new level of special.

It was hard to dress for an opera when I never go to them and don't really know what to wear, on top of my maternity clothes are all that really fits quirk. I ended up in a cream colored, round neck business dress with a white belt above my bump and shoes of matching white.

 **Saturday, February 2...**

My next checkup is on a Saturday after I worked from 10 to 4.

A few stretch marks are discovered on the tops of my hips and the very bottom of my belly. At nearly 23 weeks pregnant, this is far from surprising. I gained another five pounds since my last appointment, totaling 14 pounds since I've been pregnant. Supposedly, only one pound is actually the baby, who measures nearly 11 inches at this point.

Afterwards, I go shopping for baby again. This time I bought a case of diapers as I always do when shopping in order to stock up, a three pack of baby bath towels all in light yellow, a waterproof mattress liner for the crib, a white animal crib mobile, a six pack of four ounce bottles, three slow flow bottle nipples, and sneakily, I buy a hot pink sheet for the crib and a turquoise 3-6 month chiffon dress with matching shoes. I go back for my usual grocery shopping, but with Serena for company and help.

Serena tries to get me all hyped up for my upcoming gender reveal party as we shop for the party supplies. While we shop, I buy a new bra and two more pairs of sweatpants from the maternity section.

I spend the next day with Nate, at a public pool. Why we went to a pool in February is beyond me, but it was fun overall and I enjoy the view of him without a shirt. He and I agreed not to get too serious before my baby is born, which means no long term plans and no sexual activity. As attracted as I am to him and despite how much I would like to have sex with him, it didn't feel right to even think about it with a baby who is not his in my belly. And we can't be sure we'll still want to be together once the baby's here anyway, since so many things change with the birth of a baby. I think we'll be together after that, but there's no guarantee and I'm only doing what is best for my baby.


End file.
